My Word for 2020: Refreshment
Yesterday I shared my process for goal setting. How staying focused on our feelings vs the tasks keeps you on the right track, minimizing feelings of defeat. I’m feeling this needs to be a year of refreshment or a few years. We have been in such a tunnel of disruption for the last 6 years between babies, moves are career changes. I am looking forward to the dust settling, routines being put in place and fun memory making. I hope the powers that be are on the same page with what my heart feels our family needs.
When I wrote my word down for this month I jumped right in and put my word of the year down. I want to focus on the fundamental actions that will breed refreshment in my daily life for 2020.
In motherhood I want rest to bring refreshment. Meaning “give it a rest.” Lay down all of the expectations of myself and just be. There are three kids now, running the perfection race is beyond impossible. Worrying about what life will look like in 10 years based on every little action I take today is no way to live in what should be a magical season. I vow to love them, respect them and provide for them. I will stop focusing so much on what this looks like in great detail and parent on a day to day basis. Having three little ones is probably the most overwhelming commitment I’ve ever made. It will get better as they get older and Rory’s development allows her to have more independence which I so look forward to.
In our physical space, refreshment will come from a clean slate. We are moving this spring. I only want to take things we really love. No little mismatched legos, art I don’t like or books I will never read again. I want to feel like we have less material things to push from one place in our house to another. I hope we can really invest in creating a functional outdoor space for us to spend as much time as possible. Being inside with the kids can leave me feeling trapped so out we go in 2020.
My mind needs refreshment. GOOD conversation will be the ticket! Heaviness has been the theme of my internal thoughts for so long now. Having a child with special needs causes you to look at things in great detail. How will we meet her needs now? How do we plan to care for her in retirement? How do we protect Owen’s emotional health and provide enough attention? Is a sibling going to be a positive or a negative? Can we handle a third child? Can I handle a third pregnancy? I want to get back to talking about the lighter things in life. TV shows, vacations, my kids funny stories. I want to seek out good conversation in 2020. I want to listen more to the people that listened to my heaviness for so long. I want to be the light again.
Physical refreshment. My body has not been mine for SOOO LONG. As I’m on the down swing of nursing my last baby and looking at a tummy thats been home to three, all I can think about is getting back to feeling at home in my own skin. I want to start slow and with loving intention. Yoga has always felt right to me. As I build my core back I might venture into something a bit more challenging but for now refreshment will come from a daily yoga practice. I will most likely have someone screaming or climbing all over me while I’m at it but it’s important I take actions on this goal.
Soul refreshment. A truth I hate to admit is that I haven’t been at church in almost three years. It’s a tangled mess of feelings that I haven’t been able to work out for a long time. I am not really sure how to make a move but know that it needs to happen. I’m committed to prayer and seeking guidance. I’m committed to forgiveness and a hope we can rebuild our faith in a church family. I will continue to listen to weekly sermons online and spend time in the word while I wait on the Lord’s leading for this delicate refreshment to take place.
Refreshment in my Business. The Glory Days Co means so much to me. I LOVE it. I have such big desires for it to serve you and Rory for years to come. With that said, it is hard. It’s hard to get our mission out to the masses, it’s hard to pour into it like I truly want to while being a mom of three. It’s hard to constantly put yourself out there.To help bring refreshment in 2020 I am going to just focus on YOU. I am going to stop looking side to side hoping someone will aid me in pushing this forward. I am going to write. Implementing the key things I know will help you feel more able in your role, seen and heard. Being a special needs parent requires encouragement. I hope I can encourage you to feel like your life is as it should be. I’m committed to doing the best I can.
Acceptance. This is a big one. If I want refreshment I need to accept what is. I can’t get caught up in Rory’s speech delay or how slow overall life progression can feel some days. I want to learn how to take a deep breath and accept where we are right now. So much of what I hope to see take place in our life is a long game. I’ve never been great in the wait.
Next week I’ll close out this series with sharing how I turn these into daily, weekly and monthly action steps. Let me know what you will do to experience your core desired feeling in 2020.